by Anthony Wetmore
Do you ever just wake up in the middle of the night almost all
the way but not quite enough to get hit with the hard facts of your general
known reality? Of course you do. Rarely do you remember the contents of those
small moments in the darkness where you may finally figure out how to put
together that over-complicated furniture, rework the last few pages of your
certainly award-worthy book, or perhaps where you left your retainer in fourth
grade. I’m rambling, but you understand what I am saying.
Early this morning for no
reason at all the song “Foxtrot
Uniform Charlie Kilo” from
the barely remembered Bloodhound
rolling around in my head, and with it, an epiphany of small scale struck me.
With it’s quick and brightly colored beat and seemingly stream
of consciousness flow of nonsense words, the song is fairly innocuous on the
surface. Just under that shiny surface we are privy to an array of fun and
amusing word-pairings that are not traditionally innuendo turned on it’s ear to
a suggestion of bluer intent. Each pairing more ridiculous and perhaps more
obvious than the last paints a broad picture of what else but sex.
A few noted examples:
“Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker”
“Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten”
Of course it goes on from there with more abstract imagery for
intercourse and the culmination of the intentions with the catchy and
not-so-subtle hook found in the songs title. Foxtrot, uniform, charlie, kilo
(F.U.C.K. for those uninitiated.) not only gives us the genesis of the song,
but also another double entendre in it’s use of the coded alphabet suited
usually to military purposes. That in itself seemed superiorly (not a word)
profound to the very half awake mind I inhabited at the time.
Jimmy Pop you brilliant sonofabitch, get out of my
half-made consciousness and stay out. I do not know if we learned anything at
all here today, perhaps that wasn’t the point of this, maybe it’s more along
the lines of strange memory and my general interest in the way we use words to
form ideas and opinions as well as playing with the sounds and colors of
meaning to define, deal with, or effect the world around us. I should probably
stop carrying on now, I don’t want to beat around the bush. (See what I did
You can listen to the song above and see if you agree with what I’ve found in the between world of sleep and wakefulness considering this dumb song about fucking.
Hefty Fine, the album the song is featured on came out ten years ago and no one cares any more, find it on amazon? Don’t?
Whatever you decide to do, stop reading this and keep checking back with Nerd Hall for more inane thought-pieces, pop culture news, reviews and so so much more. We’re also on the twitter: @nerdhallblog
Thank you, I’m sorry.